“Not Like That, Like This!” – Farahliza Grace

Helping-kids-with-peer-pressureAbout a few months ago, I learned that I have not been giving enough rest for myself. I avoided friends who are passing by, I walked away from conversations and I wished I didn’t have to greet and approach people. After a while, I realized that I was trying to fit into the image that I have been creating all along – like drawing a picture inside a small frame.

While it is true that this happens everywhere, peer pressure among medical students is perhaps a bit different due to the level of competition in medical school and medicine itself being a tough field. When you are in a group of people with similar interest, social status or age, have you ever feel the need to think, feel and act in a way acceptable to the rest of the members?

This is peer pressure. It is not simply a thing of the teenagers, it can follow into adulthood in different forms.

The tension of medical studies can be overwhelming, not to mention the crazy timetables. Most of us are also overachievers, we feel like we have to do more, know and learn more, which is true in this modern world. So where do you see peer pressure in this craziness? Ever been in a situation where all people talk about is who passed the exam and who did not? When you see friends studying continuously, they motivate you to put in more effort but it can lower your confidence as well when you realized that you cannot study like them. We will start to compare our performance with others and we might build our confidence from that. But what happens when you are out of the game?

Peer pressure has its positive and negative effects. Teamwork can be very helpful when preparing for examination especially when the group is filled with people with positive attitudes. Vice versa, when you are surrounded with friends who are too negative, you’ll be amazed at how quick your energy bar depletes. In a competitive environment, teachers tend to compare students, some might not be intentional as it is simply an objective observation but things go wrong when one start to discriminate among students. Furthermore, when it is hard to say NO to friends, some will also take advantage of you. Peer pressure can also cause a change in one’s personal values, beliefs or systems; for example, identity loss and the constant need for attention.

So should we ignore peer pressure completely? Is it okay if we embrace it to a certain extent? People cope with this challenge in many ways. In the early years of school, we look for friends who we can get along with and we usually stick together until we finish school. With the rest, we might feel comfortable to be just classmates with interactions and conversations limited to school stuffs.

Before anything else, it is important to know about you and to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Different people are gifted with different ability to cope with studies. Knowing your strengths build your confidence and acknowledging your weaknesses keep you grounded. You learn from your mistakes. Learn how to be independent and to live by your own standards and visions. Learn how to be satisfied with yourself first.

There are different types of people. Who you mix in with, can affect your day. For example, positive people, positive energy, a good day! If you’re easily stressed, you might need to avoid friends who are constantly complaining about studies. It is not difficult to feel intimidated when you are studying in a study room filled with medical students, so try going to a big library where you will also see students from other faculties. Keep a healthy balance of mixing with different kinds of friends and don’t be afraid to walk away from those who bring you down!

Everyone has their own timing before they decide to completely open up and show their true self to others. In the end, it is important to be surrounded by friends who accept you regardless of the difference. And it is also essential for you to be able to accept yourself no matter how different you are from the rest of your peers.

Since peer pressure is realistically unavoidable, keep yourself busy with a string of activities that help you to cope with stress and build your confidence; for instance, a new sport or even a new hobby. If used in the proper way, peer pressure can push a student out of the comfort zone and motivates him or her to put in more effort and to be more ambitious. It can be a part of success. Remember, when under the right pressure, even a coal can turn into a diamond!

Farahliza Grace is a 3rd year medical student studying in the Faculty of Medicine, Palacky University, Czech Republic. Learn more about her and other students at the Young Columnists tab under The Team

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