Source: www.warcom.com.au
I was shaking – needle in one hand and sweat on the other.
I couldn’t see properly as sweat was dripping from my forehead, and some stung my eyes.
The only thing hurting more than my eyes was my pride.
The patient was looking at me somewhat bewildered, eyeing my name tag that says ‘Dr Kamal Amzan’ and wondering whether he should believe it, or whether I’m one of the fake doctors he read so often in the newspapers.
After all I was a nervous wreck and was not projecting the image of a ‘doctor’ one would have in mind.
All the while in the background I could hear staff nurses talking to me:
“Dr I need an IV line for bed 2 to 10.”
“Dr I need you to prescribe medicine for bed 11 – 20.”
“Dr Kamal, I think you should look at bed two. He’s complaining of chest pain.”
“Dr Kamal, the relatives are waiting for an update from you. Better see them quick before they file a complaint.
“Dr Kamal please get consent for bed 2. The operating theater has already called twice!”
“Aiya Dr Kamal. I cannot read your plans!! ”
Best part is they say this almost all at the same time.
Since today was my first day at work (some say first day of life) I was asked to tag a senior colleague. This routine is to last for 2 weeks from 7 am to 12 midnight. There were only 3 of us in the whole ward.
I thought they were joking, but apparently not.
My life, at that moment literally flashed before my eyes. Nothing in my medical school prepared me for this.
Medical school versus real life.
For the benefit of those not in the medical line, and medical students, medical school, focus more on the art and the academia of medicine. We learn about diseases, what they look like under the microscope, the history and how they are best-managed.
We have practical sessions and bedside teachings.
Working life on the other hand doesn’t allow such idealism and luxury. It is about diagnosing illness and instituting the correct management in the shortest time possible using whatever limited resources we have. We’re dealing with real life patients with real illnesses, who may die from our inept ability.
Housemanship therefore focuses more on military like responsibilities, discipline, building physical, emotional and psychological strength to survive to live a life as a doctor.
Not to mention learning the paperwork and all the red tapes our government hospitals are well-known for.
Those who work in a computerised hospital may have a different experience. I would assume that their system makes life easier. But back in 2007, at the hospital I was assigned to, everything involved filling up forms. From blood takings to x – rays, from tracing blood results to tracking patient’s old notes.
We use different forms for each procedures. So imagine if we have to take 3 different blood samples for a patient, and multiply that by 35 patients in the ward – how many forms do we have to fill?
Forget about a houseman friendly hospital. We’re not even eco – friendly.
My colleagues used to tell me that it can only get better, and all I had to do was persevere.
In hindsight, they were right. Things got better after a while but not because the workload and responsibilities got lesser (on the contrary you’ll have more), but because you got better and better.
And sooner or later it will dawn upon you that it doesn’t end with your housemanship. It only ends with your life.
That is the defining moment, when you finally realise that this is the life that you have always wanted.
Congratulations, you’ve made it. You are now a Doctor.
Dr Kamal Amzan is currently practicing Public Health in Sabah, and at the same time a Columnist for The Malay Mail Online. You can reach him at drkamalamzan@gmail.com and on his twitter @drkamalamzan
[This article belongs to The Malaysian Medical Gazette. Any republication (online or offline) without written permission from The Malaysian Medical Gazette is prohibited.]
8 comments for “First Day of Hospital Life – Dr Kamal Amzan”