Emotional Support via Active Listening – The Befrienders

graphic1-350x167The Befrienders is one of the leading crisis hotline centers in Malaysia. It provides free, confidential, non-judgmental befriending service to anyone who is suffering from emotional distress: particularly those who are depressed and suicidal. This service is open to everyone irrespective of race, religion, age or gender. The same openness is applicable as well to the volunteers of the organization; who come from all age groups and walks of life. The first center in Malaysia was established in KL in 1970 by a group of concerned individuals as a response to what they felt was a high level of societal distress following the tragic communal riots of 1969. Other centers were gradually established over the years in many of the main Malaysian cities: Ipoh, Penang, Malacca, Johor Bahru, Seremban, Kota Kinabalu and Muar.

All of these centers operate as non-profit organizations and work independently from each other. They however come under the umbrella of the Befrienders WorldWide, a global emotional support organization with a presence in more than 30 countries. The mission and mode of operation of the Befrienders in turn is modelled after the well known Samaritans crisis hotline in the UK, which had its humble beginnings as a local church counseling service initiated by Chad Varah in 1953.

Emotional support to the public is extended through 3 primary modes: telephone, email and face to face. Although telephone calls remain the primary choice of contact for all centers, a significantly growing number of youth are choosing to correspond via emails in recent years. In 2014, Befrienders KL recorded approximately 20,000 contacts overall from these 3 modes: with relationship, psychiatric and family issues being the top three concerns among callers. 25% of all our contacts had expressed suicidal ideation, while nearly half of all email contacts did so. This is quite alarming given the age group that most of these emailers fall in (13 – 24); but it is also sadly consistent with global statistics that identifies this as one of the groups at highest risk of suicide.

In addition to our primary function of emotional support, all Befriender centers are also actively involved in public advocacy on issues related to mental health and suicide prevention at the local and national level. We achieve this by organizing forums on these topics, as well as giving talks and workshops at various organizations, schools, colleges and universities. One of our key annual events is a public forum that coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day in September, which was designated by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) as a reminder to the global community of the importance and seriousness of tackling this issue. For this year, our workshop will be on 19 Sept 2015 with the theme: Preventing Suicide: Reaching Out & Saving Lives.

As an NGO, we are dependent on the external public as the primary source of funding for our day to day operational expenses. The current cost of running the center on a 24 hour basis is RM170,000 per annum. Any contribution that you can afford towards this would be deeply appreciated.

Emotional support via active listening

The core approach to emotional support that we utilize at our centers is known as active listening. This particular communication technique has been used in a variety of other fields such as counseling, training, medical consultation and conflict resolution with varying degrees of success. There are several components involved such as paraphrasing, reflecting, clarifying and asking open-ended questions. Personal judgment and opinion is suspended throughout the duration of the interaction so that the volunteer does not unintentionally direct or influence the caller in any particular way. Within the context of our work, active listening helps to provide an open and safe space for the caller to fully ventilate their emotions without any inhibition. Often, a caller may be revealing long suppressed emotions for the very first time during a phone call or email contact. The expression of these feelings usually provides some form of emotional catharsis that in turn grants reprieve from overbearing suicidal feelings, such as in the case of the call earlier described.

A particularly important aspect of active listening involves a volunteer reflecting the emotion underlying a particular statement by the caller and identifying the source of that emotion. When executed skillfully, it allows the formation of an empathetic bond, wherein the caller perceives that his or her emotions are validated and accepted by the volunteer. This can be very meaningful, particularly for callers who may feel uncared for or disconnected from conventional sources of support such as family members or close friends. The research literature has repeatedly identified social isolation as being one of the key risk factors to suicide; and the forming of this bond during a phone or email interaction is thus an important mitigating step.

One key difference between the emotional support we provide and conventional counseling or psychotherapeutic approaches is that we do not provide advice or direction to the caller, even when this is explicitly requested for. The primary reason for this is that the vast majority of our volunteers consist of lay people without any background or training in mental health. Consequently any advice offered, even with the best of intentions, may potentially result in a negative outcome for the caller. Another important reason is that our experience has revealed to us that when callers work out solutions to their own problems, they feel more empowered and emerge more confident and poised to handle future problems. Such solutions may involve consultation with other trained mental health professionals, if need be. When active listening is utilized skillfully, the caller can be guided to reflect on the various options open to them and make an appropriate decision that is aligned with their core desires and beliefs.

As Befrienders KL operates our crisis hotlines on a 24 hour basis, we are desperately in need of volunteer manpower to ensure that all the phones are manned properly. If you are someone with an empathetic and warm personality who can listen to and accept another unconditionally, please consider volunteering with us as a way of making a positive contribution to society. Mental health issues, such as depression and suicide, are estimated by WHO to become one of the leading causes of death worldwide in about a decade’s time. Your participation will make a key difference in the long term global and national efforts to address this issue.

We run several intakes for new volunteers every year. For more information on the latest intake session,

please check us out at:

http://www.befrienders.org.my

https://www.facebook.com/BefriendersKL

https://twitter.com/BefriendersKL

Victor Tan is a day duty director at Befrienders KL, where he is involved in coordinating the manning of the crisis helplines as well as training of new volunteers.

Befrienders KL offers emotional support for the depressed and suicidal. Please call 03-7956 8145 (24 hours) or email sam@befrienders.org.my if you need a listening ear.

This article was published in conjunction with Suicide Prevention Day (10th September 2015).

 

[This article belongs to The Malaysian Medical Gazette. Any republication (online or offline) without written permission from The Malaysian Medical Gazette is prohibited.] 

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